Consequential Strangers

By Melinda Blau; Karen L. Fingerman, Ph.D
Norton, $25.95, 276 pages

I’ve never been one for idle chitchat with baristas or drycleaners, but according to Melinda Blau and Karen L. Fingerman, authors of Consequential Strangers, I’ve been missing out.  It seems these people could be adding an entirely new dimension to my life.  Blau and Fingerman (consequential strangers themselves) discuss the people who orbit our world, the cobbler, the baker, the yoga instructor, and posit that though on the periphery of our existence and often taken for granted, they have the ability to enrich our lives.

Unlike a “complete” stranger, say a taxi driver, a consequential stranger is someone about whom we know something, however seemingly irrelevant.  Though less important than our “intimates,” they play an important role in our lives: “Our intimates love us, but they’re too close to see our potential.”  The authors go on to say “…we need what consequential strangers offer: a fresh perspective, different ideas, and connections and know-how that extend beyond our familiar.”

Consequential strangers have access to resources and knowledge our intimates don’t.  They can challenge us and give us new perspectives.  The authors provide numerous examples to back up their theories, including one about jobseekers who found that those most instrumental in helping them find new positions were people “…closer to the stranger end of the relationship continuum….”  Here’s a new and rewarding way to look at all the people we come into contact with.

Reviewed by Bruce Genaro